In The Key of B: Dark Paradise

I’ve been listening to a lot of Lana Del Rey lately (thanks to my good friend, Desi) and have deeply resonated with Rey’s “Dark Paradise.” Though the song is about Lana singing about a deceased lover, you might as well put it that even though my best friend whom I miss dearly hasn’t passed, I feel at times the part of him that opened up to me during that summer of 2009 did and those six months we spent as singles. And despite him being my friend for four years now and with him trying his hardest to make our friendship work throughout the years despite the controlling and walking oddity that is his past, I hope he will return one day. I can at least hope he remembers me in the days we never spoke.

Some days are just so much more harder than others for me. I’ve noticed the older I get, the more I exhibit this sort of “eccedentesiast” behavior. My life as of late consists of me keeping my head down and working. I just work and work, and live life like how I did before I ever met him; meeting new people, living life to the “fullest”, but I feel this deep, dark void inside. Is this what it will always feel like? Will I always be stuck in this state?

After all the work, the writing, the living, the eating, the socializing, the breathing, I take only one moment to remember him and all that effort I’ve made to try and forget him fails. It just fails.

I’ve failed.

And then I smile thinking about the times we shared before hiding my face into a pillow and falling asleep. And then the day repeats. I miss him so much, it hurts.

Lana Del Rey: Dark Paradise

All my friends tell me I should move on
I’m lying in the ocean, singing your song
Ahhh, that’s how you sang it
Loving you forever, can’t be wrong
Even though you’re not here, won’t move on
Ahhh, that’s how we played it

And there’s no remedy for memory your face is
Like a melody, it won’t leave my head
Your soul is haunting me and telling me
That everything is fine
But I wish I was dead

Everytime I close my eyes
It’s like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I’m scared that you won’t be waiting on the other side
Everytime I close my eyes
It’s like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I’m scared that you won’t be waiting on the other side

All my friends ask me why I stay strong
Tell ’em when you find true love it lives on
Ahhh, that’s why I stay here

And there’s no remedy for memory your face is
Like a melody, it won’t leave my head
Your soul is haunting me and telling me
That everything is fine
But I wish I was dead

Everytime I close my eyes
It’s like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I’m scared that you won’t be waiting on the other side
Everytime I close my eyes
It’s like a dark paradise
No one compares to you

But there’s no you, except in my dreams tonight,
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
I don’t wanna wake up from this tonight
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
I don’t wanna wake up from this tonight

There’s no relief, I see you in my sleep
And everybody’s rushing me, but I can feel you touching me
There’s no release, I feel you in my dreams
Telling me I’m fine

Everytime I close my eyes
It’s like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I’m scared that you won’t be waiting on the other side
Everytime I close my eyes
It’s like a dark paradise
No one compares to you

But there’s no you, except in my dreams tonight,
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
I don’t wanna wake up from this tonight
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
I don’t wanna wake up from this tonight.

Photo Credit: zhrdv/Flickr
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