Relationships are hard, but divorce can be much harder. As an ugly beast filled with a wide-range of emotions and a dose of bitterness, divorce can present some frustrating challenges for couples — like co-parenting.
While both parents are often caught in a cycle of retaliation due to the mental and emotional harm each has inflicted on the other due to doubt, irreconcilable differences or infidelity, they often don’t understand how their actions can actually affect their child’s life.
A report from CBS News found children living in single-parents homes marred by divorce were not only twice as likely to develop serious psychiatric illnesses and addictions later in life, but were more likely to feel insecure, unloved and unimportant.
Though divorce might be the only solution for some couples, there are several ways to effectively co-parent without life getting crazy. We might look towards celebrities as models who undergo starry steps for ‘conscious uncoupling,’ but the key is to be effective role models to your children in the most hostile of relationships for the betterment of their positive environment.
We’ve all seen the situation and it baffles you to the core: a spouse cheats on their partner, yet they remain the happy quintessential couple on your sunny neighborhood block. All looks normal on their relationship horizon, but a month or two later pass, and you hear they are heading on vacation, moving to a new home, or what is subjectively worse — have a baby with the intent to “save” their marriage.
Yikes. What could possibly pressure someone to want to stay in a relationship so deceitful after years of emotional abuse and distrust? Well, for one, you should know that it isn’t easy. While many reach a point of no return and cut ties, that’s not the case for everyone — and if you must know, weakness or strength does not come into play. It should be noted with great veneration that all relationships are hard and none are textbook.
While divorce can empower spouses to create opportunities for your family to do the right thing, staying in a bad marriage is a real adversity that harms mental and emotional health. Though staying in a relationship can be seen as puzzling, psychologists prove that there is real, scientific motive couples stay in bad relationships.
When we seek out partners, we’re looking for someone who will be our true soul mate, our best friend — the who understands us to the core without us even uttering a word. But love and even marriage is not enough to guarantee that a relationship stands the test of time. Couples can be together for a decade, love each other very much, move to a new town, have a child, yet still not be right for one another.
Sure, relationships aren’t perfect and most will often meet with some challenge or the other, but can you really be happy if you ignore the red flags just to ensure history is left untouched?
Owning a new home can be an exciting new chapter in your life, especially as a happy couple. In addition to the dreams you two work towards and build together, a new home can bring about a revitalization to your relationship and future. Not to mention as it’s routinely seen as an essential component to the “American Dream,” it’s also an amazing financial milestone that comes with an incredible set of benefits.
However, when you consider everything between the relationship, the finances and jobs you both have, is it really the right decision for you? While owning a home is much cheaper than renting in many parts of the country, you need to be sure you’re financially prepared to take the leap when diving into home ownership.
In an attempt to rekindle those initial inklings of romance that first drove a couple to wedded bliss, a growing number of distressed married couples on the brink of separation or divorce are looking towards vacationing as an opportunity to save their broken marriage. Known as “save-cations,” these trips are regarded as a form of self-counseling and becoming a popular method for those experiencing marital distress.
But while it seems like a more mature and viable option than say, having a baby to save a marriage, these one-on-one getaways are actually not effective and prod further into an indication that a marriage is in dire trouble.
Whether emotional or physical, many couples believe the number one quick fix to infidelity is by having a baby. Often assumed that the miracle of a new life will aid in a newly renewed bond between the couple for a better relationship and distract them from past conflict, a baby becomes the ultimate symbol of hope for a depleting marriage.
It’s easy to romanticize how a bouncing bundle of joy will help solve problems like infidelity between a couple, but the arrival of a baby to repair a broken relationship is pure myth as per licensed marriage and family therapist, Melissa Risso, M.A, LMFT of Risso Counseling in San Mateo, California.
“There is never a ‘quick fix’ when it comes to relationship concerns, especially when a couple has experienced infidelity of any sort,” Risso says.
The stresses of modern-day living have led 1 in 5 couples down the road to a sexless marriage. Our writer at The Hudsucker explores the silent epidemic by talking to individuals in such unions, along with seeking insight from Marriage and Family Therapist Intern, Melissa Risso, M.A Counseling Psychology; and Christian marriage counselors, Paul and Lori Byerly of The Marriage Bed.
A marriage without sex is a lot like a burger without the bun. What’s the point of calling it a ‘burger’ if it isn’t exactly complete? For the past few years, social scientists have been studying sexless marriages for clues about what can go wrong in relationships and factors leading to the issue. In an article last year from the National Post, author and marital therapist, Andrew G. Marshall stated that sexless marriages have become the latest epidemic many married couples are silently facing today.
For Lucy, 30, in suburban Arkansas, sex has always been a thrill. It gave her energy for the day, brightened her mood, and connected her in rather intimate ways with her husband of thirteen years, Jeremy, 32. As the couple got married fairly young, Lucy continues to study hard in college, but often tired between school and her day job, so she heads to bed early and is usually fast asleep before her husband joins her. Lucy shares how in many ways, things started going sour in their seventh year of marriage, a condition researchers call “the seven year itch”, a psychological term suggesting that happiness in a relationship declines around year seven.
“I just felt like it was the same old routine,” she says. “I just didn’t feel too happy about it. We would have date night, go out, have fun like old times, and get frisky, but it’s just not for me anymore. With school and everything going great for me right now professionally, I don’t find it to be a priority. We haven’t had sex for four years now.”