mental health

8 Undeniable Red Flags of Incompatibility in a Relationship

{Image Credit: iStock}

When we seek out partners, we’re looking for someone who will be our true soul mate, our best friend — the who understands us to the core without us even uttering a word. But love and even marriage is not enough to guarantee that a relationship stands the test of time. Couples can be together for a decade, love each other very much, move to a new town, have a child, yet still not be right for one another.

Sure, relationships aren’t perfect and most will often meet with some challenge or the other, but can you really be happy if you ignore the red flags just to ensure history is left untouched?

Continue reading…

How to Reach Success Using Creative Visualization

If you want to succeed, you have to believe you can. You might think about being successful and reaching your goals all the time, but our life and the circumstances we find ourselves in often have another plan for us every single day. In case you didn’t know, what you usually think up is what you ultimately become. It might sound a little daunting, but with the way the universe is, whatever you choose to concentrate on is what you have the power to attract. Meaning, the more you visualize a goal, the more you can accomplish it.

Regarded as a powerful technique to help you transform your life, creative visualization is a key component in helping you use your imagination and dreams to affect more positive changes in your life. It might sound a lot like Aladdin rubbing a magic lamp and making a wish, but it is a natural process that pushes us to become the architect of our lives as we attract success and prosperity in our lives.

Continue reading…

Autism 101: Effective Ways to Help Your Child Communicate and Thrive

Autistic-boy-playing-with-toy-cars-168318247_663x373

One of the most humbling parts about my job is getting to know people through their profession. A little before New Year’s Eve, I had the pleasure of chatting with Christine Guth of the Asperger Autism Group of Goshen for an assignment on autism. As someone who was not very familiar with the developmental disability prior to this interview, I was really blown away by Guth’s knowledge. The community leader with more than 10 years of experience not only lends support to parents and their children on the autism spectrum, but is a remarkable individual whose very insight derives from being a mother to two children diagnosed on the autism spectrum, in addition to being the wife to her husband also on the spectrum.

She is a testament to good character and as someone who gained quite a bit of knowledge on the subject, it is evident how appreciated she is when helping parents and children prosper through this condition. While I have had my fair share of thoroughly researched articles that broaden the dialogue on awareness, this is definitely one of my favorites. I was very pleased to see how this particular piece turned out as Guth shared tips with Womanista readers this past January to help make life a bit easier at home.

Womanista | Autism 101: Effective Ways to Help Your Child Communicate and Thrive

If you have a child on the autism spectrum, you might find yourself wondering how to effectively improve their communication and life skills. While early intervention is the key in treating autism, a condition that affects one in 68 children in the U.S., it’s hard to prepare yourself for what’s to come if you’re unsure on how best to help them.
Described as a “developmental disability” by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, autism causes substantial social, communication, and behavioral challenges, and is 4.5 times more common in boys than girls. But since the condition varies from person to person, it can be hard to get the “right” advice and relief. Thankfully, there are tried and tested tips to help make life easier thanks to support groups across the country.
CONTINUE READING AT WOMANISTA

Goshen Getaways

img2329_20160806_edited01

With summer school over, I’ve had more time to explore a lot of the beauty around this great state. One place I’ve been finding myself visiting a lot more thanks to the places my father’s work sends him and a good friend who lives in the Terrace Park area recommends is Goshen’s Fidler Pond.

It’s seriously gorgeous and kind of reminds me of the pond by my parents’ house back home, except bigger and much cleaner. When I visit this quaint little city, I make it my goal to always park my car at this beautiful park that most people would have to drive about 20 miles out to get, and head out on a long, hearty run around its one-and-a-half-mile trail. This 80-acre pond has become my little oasis away from the hustle and bustle of a busy, metropolitan life. Plus, it’s an incredibly quiet area and I love that. While everyone I know is taking a weekend off and heading to Lake Wawasee and indulging in the sandbars, I’ve found in recent months this little gem introduced to me by a good friend is a spot that will forever be my own.

Originally a gravel pit, Fidler Pond with its gorgeous crystal clear waters and sweet swing benches opened just three years ago and has attracted the masses of the north for its alluring features like biking, canoeing and kayaking. But the trail is something I am most enamored by. With its scenic atmosphere and attractive crushed-stone surface that stretches around an amazingly deep pond, there’s nothing more exhilarating and fun than that speedy sprint, hearing the steady thump of my footsteps echoing amid the quiet routine of nature. Running has been my thing this summer, so much so that a friend has asked if I wanted to take part in a city marathon but we will see. I’ve been keeping fit, but not enough for a marathon–at least not just yet.

That said, running has really helped me feel better in terms of heartache, especially in these last few months and this location has been my favorite run path so far. Of course, I have plenty of run paths by my place down south that have been so helpful in sweating off the grief. But when up here and might I add more often now, I feel like I’ve not only had a chance to relax and enjoy nature in this immaculate mileau, but I have been able to process the pain more efficiently.

Might sound odd, but running in a similar way to writing, has helped me to really understand myself better as I get a chance to navigate through pain and hurt, and of course the heartache. To add to it, running at Fidler Pond in all its tranquility gives me a good break away from the sadness and void felt. It’s as if the sweat is another way for my body to cry as silly as that might sound. Running at this remarkable little pond has given me purpose and helped to restore an introspective equilibrium that provides a charge in my own life, while pitting my strengths against my hurt.

In addition to running, I also love eating! I guess you can call it a fine balance. In keeping with my love for this city and these Goshen getaways (see more here!) I have been charmed by in recent weeks, tune in on Monday at The Hudsucker for my restaurant guide to some of my favorite eateries in this sweet city’s downtown.

6 Ways to Create Good Karma

karma-tiny-devos-16635

One of the greatest parts about my job is how introspective it can be. You see, with everything I’ve been through in the last few months, especially with matters of the heart, I’ve been able to really heal myself through writing. It is both a blessing and a sheer point of humility to be able to write about things that are personal, set them off into the Universe, relate to others and really learn from all that research. In keeping with what I recently learned on one of my last assignments, I am starting to understand the real value of karma and appreciate it so much more.

You see, I was hurt very badly by two selfish walking oddities—let’s call them Tom and Daisy, shall we? Living in their own world of denial and rose-colored glasses, the two of them carry on very weakly in their actions unaware of how it affects the ripples in this giant body of water we call a world. But, as my faith has shown and meditating has preached, forgiveness is the key. Forgiveness and letting go, of course. And by letting go, I actually mean being honest because honesty is the best policy. And as cliche as it sounds, the truth really will set you free. You see, I love Tom so very much but he wanted me to lie for him and carry the weight of his secrets. But it was becoming too heavy on my conscious and heart. I couldn’t take it anymore and it was like the beating heart in the floorboards.

After Daisy sent me several angry messages from her place of work and while on a trip in Illinois, I realized I had enough and had to set myself free from these chains of pain. I decided to let it all hang out and be honest. That is the number one way to generate positive karma in your own life—letting go and knowing that it’s not your load to deal with. If Tom wants to continue lying, then so be it. But it should mean Daisy needs to carry his weight for him, not me. Let Daisy suffer from his lies and shortcomings, not me. When researching on the topic of karma, I discovered the burden of secrets can weigh down not just mentally and emotionally, but physically and why risk myself for the sake of someone’s foolish deception? There is no point in life to hold such deep, dark secrets that only hurt those that matter to you. If this long chapter of love has taught me anything, it’s to be honest with those you love because lying gets you nowhere. In fact, lying creates an incredible amount of distrust and doubt and why suffer through that? Especially if someone pretends to care for those around him, but is actually an incredibly selfish and careless individual—why even choose to accept the lies? These types of people who lie and those who accept it as a form of denial will reap what they sow, quite literally.

In keeping with my latest piece for Womanista, I present to you, “6 Ways to Create Good Karma.”

Womanista | 6 Ways to Create Good Karma

Often misunderstood as some hippie buzzword, “karma” is one of the oldest Buddhist philosophies and reaches far beyond Eastern beliefs. Simply put, karma is the sum of a person’s intentional words, actions, and thoughts, meaning you get what you give in life whether it’s good or bad. The consequences of these intentions are spontaneous, natural and instant. The attitude we portray to others comes back to us with the same energy.
Since fate is never truly set because of free will, life gives you chances to better yourself. If you can explore your actions and attitudes through positive intention, you can effectively alter your outlook to create good karma for rich life experiences.
BE HONEST
Always be honest with others and yourself — even if it means you might get embarrassed. When people lie, the lie returns and most often comes back tenfold. It might seem impossible to live a life without lying (especially when we talk to our kids about the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus), but through a greater aspect of intention, karma means taking responsibility for every word and action we verbalize. Being dishonest hurts no one but yourself.
Continue reading at Womanista!