quotes

Womanista: November 2016

womanista-logo01What a month November was! I hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving with their family and friends. As we approach a new year, Womanista has been undergoing some changes as we integrate our newest partner, Skinny Mom to the Womanista family with a brand new look to our website! Be sure to check it out at Womanista.com.

In the meantime, catch up on all the latest from computer tricks to make you more productive, to styling that baby bump for winter and getting a head start on all that holiday shopping with Oprah. Plus, we explore the cutest and trendiest baby names of 2016! Did your baby’s name make the list? As it goes, here is a complete list of my contributions to the women’s lifestyle website for the month of November.

Nov. 30, 2016: Give the Gift of Memorable Experiences This Holiday Season | Today, an increasing number of people have started to gift experiences or their time as holiday gifts. {CONTINUE READING…}

Nov. 28, 2016: 6 Easy Computer Tricks to Make Your Workday More Productive | There is no denying that a sizeable chunk of our day revolves around computers. Whether we work from home or in an office… {CONTINUE READING…}

Nov. 27, 2016: 25 Empowering Quotes from Brilliantly Inspiring Women | In a rapidly evolving culture that measures likeability and talent, we often overlook the importance of inspiration in our daily lives. {CONTINUE READING…}

Nov. 23, 2016: The Best of Oprah’s Favorite Things 2016 | Shopping season is in full, festive swing this year and what better way to find the perfect, most inspired gift for that special someone than by turning to Oprah Winfrey for a little help. {CONTINUE READING…}

Nov. 22, 2016: Reduce Travel Stress With 6 Easy Airport Hacks | Air travel can make even the most seasoned travelers tired, treading a weariness we most often associate only with the DMV. {CONTINUE READING…}

Nov. 21, 2016: The Trendiest Baby Names of 2016 | If you’re expecting in the next few months, there’s no doubt you are currently looking for the perfect and most unique name for your little one. {CONTINUE READING…}

Nov. 19, 2016: The Mom-to-Be’s Guide to Styling a Baby Bump for Fall and Winter | From temperature fluctuations to mood swings, looking for good maternity clothes doesn’t have to be stressful. {CONTINUE READING…}

Nov. 15, 2016: The Thanksgiving Party Guide You Need for Easy Planning and Festive Memories | All the prep that goes into planning your Thanksgiving party every year can be a bit scary. {CONTINUE READING…}

Nov. 14, 2016: Warm Fruit Crisps and Crumbles for Every Taste and Occasion | No matter the season, stone fruits are a beloved ingredient in so many delicious baked goods. From pies to pastries, we try our hardest… {CONTINUE READING…}

Nov. 11, 2016: 10 Impressively Mouthwatering Thanksgiving Appetizers | Thanksgiving is in two weeks and as you scramble to prepare the best menu of recent years, you need to consider the power of an appetizer. {CONTINUE READING…}

Nov. 4, 2016: Easy Recipes for Quick and Tasty Microwave Meals | When you think of a microwave, you might look back to those college days of reheating home cooked meals or those small frozen dinners that helped you to pull an all-nighter. {CONTINUE READING…}

Nov. 2, 2016: The Most Memorable CMA Moments of the Past 50 Years | After months of waiting, it’s finally here and we are so excited! Grab those cocktails, because tonight marks the 50th Annual CMA Awards celebrating half a century… {CONTINUE READING…}

Advertisements

“When you stumble, keep faith…”

insta_thesocialI have Muslim family living in the U.S., along with Hispanic, Black and gay friends spread across the country, and have been blessed with amazing people who shower my family with nothing but love and respect.

But last night my heart broke into a million pieces watching the election results as the U.S. elected Trump as President of the United States. Trembling at what my family and friends will be enduring in the next four years, the president-elect is a man who speaks to violence, homophobia, xenophobia, racism, sexism, inequality and more importantly of how I was raised, is not the ‘type’ of guy who is supposed to win anything. This election was more about moral decency and ethics than politics, yet no one noticed. And no one who voted Trump actually ever came out boasting about policy. Instead they have a desire to abuse others, hang journalists from trees and this leader stays silent. As it goes, the softest hearts who feel they have so much to lose are the easiest to manipulate from fear.

Last night proved compassion is no longer the basis of morality. It’s easier to be disinterested in others if it means we don’t get hurt. We don’t feel pain. We don’t have to understand what it’s like to be not privileged or in such a case, white. Trump is the person we tell our kids not to be, yet here we are. A few years ago, my best friend and love told me, “Never be afraid to speak up for yourself and your loved ones.” He knew I was this way and always will be. And I am going to make it my mission to always work hard and care deeply for those I truly believe in because the world doesn’t need hate. It’s hard going at it on our own every day, diving into the unknown than to pander to hateful rhetoric and sentiment.

The results have shown us that while we have a divided nation here, no vote for Clinton was cast in vain. Every one who cast a ballot for integrity, morality and the good of loving our neighbors did a great service to each other as a way of showing our support to those who have been degraded by a man who prides himself on how much money he has and how women are easily up for grabs.

But it also shows the silent majority who doesn’t speak up against hateful rhetoric, whether a Trump supporter or someone of the 200 million that didn’t vote (the right to vote is a beautiful thing…), are ones to fear the most. Fork-tongue. Two-face. People who dictate their life based on consternation. These are people I know and have unfortunately come across in the last 24 hours who disbelieve sexual assault, racism, Islamophobia and lately, the KKK. How can you pass such a horrible and inexcusable group of people as a joke and not take them seriously? This is arrogance. This is privilege. Perhaps you are not blessed with people of different faiths, backgrounds and cultures to better understand the world around you. Maybe your heart is not big enough to comprehend the life outside your own.

How can one relate to Trump when his ideals run alongside Hitler’s own disdain for minorities prior to the Holocaust? As a world and a nation that is incredibly divided, we have a moral obligation to be kind to each other and most of all, defend the rights of those who are unfairly treated. I learned friends and acquaintances make up who you are in every facet. Through this knowledge, the circles we create are a direct reflection of who we are at the end of the day. This election was never about policy, it has long been about everything Trump wanted to make it about and of course, millions fell victim to his monstrous rhetoric. Honestly, if you can’t stand up against hate and mask it only as “change” because you want something different, what is left of your integrity? That is an invalid argument on all accounts.

Between the Bible, Quran and Torah, we were taught to love thy neighbor, stand up for others and speak out on injustice. But what is done is done, and every action in life serves a reaction that we may or may not be ready for. Now is the time I pray we practice patience, tolerance and show how big our hearts are to those that repeal such understanding because love overpowers hate. Always.

“That’s not love. That’s torture.”

mastersofsex_s4e3

“All for someone who lies to you, who, uh disregards you? Who ultimately cannot love you.
Can you possibly hate yourself that much?”

I had a chance earlier this week to binge-watch the fourth season of Masters of Sex and came across some very articulate wisdom that hit on the psychology of our relationships and choices. This particular ounce of dialogue from the show really resonated with me and hit on points that I never really considered in my relationships I’ve come to know and understand.

It made me think about the others I know too. Particularly a dolt like woman, who retreats into her own insecurities and self-doubt with a Machiavellian-type individual in a very naïve and diffident manner. The one who pours herself into every facet of fixing something that is so horribly broken by running away, sweeping it under the rug and all because of her (and the unfound man‘s) own childish fear of repeating history or not fitting the wholesome mold society has laid out for them as the quintessential trophy couple—with their trophy bairn. Or, the picture-perfect life they mused over during a quick, fleeting moment of happiness as ankle-biters, while each caught in their own updraft.

I’m talking about the ones who try to fix their broken marriage by having a child or heading on vacation, getting a new job, haircut, or even moving across town, etc. They can do it all to escape the reality, but is it enough? It’s not. It’s also a testament to their own integrity, their self-worth, and their personal truth.

While listening to this dialogue based on psychology and a profound sociological depth, it gave me my own epiphany about relationships, and everything that has happened in the last year. In the show, Alice (Judy Greer) has a husband Dan (Josh Charles) who constantly cheats on her—most times with the same person. He’s been doing it for years, saying the marriage is over, the relationship is done, they don’t see “eye-to-eye,” and the usual a Machiavellian-type will come up with. Most recently, Dan cheated with Virginia Johnson (Lizzy Caplan), returning to her after some time and telling her that he and Alice were kaput again. Of course, as it is, Virginia believes Dan and the two carry on. But without spoiling the new season, Dan has his own insecurities and doubts, and Virginia and him are always at a crossroads. As are Virginia and Bill.

In this particular dialogue (photo attached above), Alice and Bill Masters (Michael Sheen, seen famously in Frost/Nixon—what a wonderful play that is too!) talk about their respective relationships. Alice, exhibiting her own low self-esteem tells Bill that Dan will always come back to her because that’s what love is. However, Bill realizes through her own low self-value and beggary attitude that this is not love. Drawing parallels to his own relationship with Virginia, someone who continues to lie to Bill because she doesn’t know how to sort out her feelings in their committed relationship—an obligation to their work, which was a marriage of sorts—that enough is enough. Where do you draw the line on upholding your own integrity?

This understanding and psychology points to the fact that in this world, we could date or marry someone, stay with them for a decade or so, have a baby a decade later (“[He] desperately wants to work out between us” and “do whatever he has to to save our marriage”), move to half a dozen homes within those years and things will still be what they are. (more…)

Happy 4th of July!

“America is too great for small dreams.”

Ronald Reagan was right. Happy 4th of July, friends! As a great nation of kind and creative dreamers, inventors, artists, builders and doers, I hope you have an exciting and fun day ahead of you with family and friends. Have a wonderful Independence Day!

Photo taken by Tania Hussain at the Indiana War Memorial in Indianapolis, IN