Wisdom Wednesday: Her Heart Is Hiding

As this blog’s history has seen, Wisdom Wednesday is usually just a few quotes that really mean something to me. But because the last few years have been up and down through learning experiences that hit both internally and externally, I wanted to do something different.

Every Wednesday (or so), I’d like to share things I’ve learned over the years stemming from events that have opened my eyes like relationships, friendships, family and sadly, death. For those wondering what the title of this blog signifies, it’s just one of my favorite songs from Princess Goes to the Butterfly Museum that’s left me with a lot of thought at the end of some very starry nights.

To kick off this Wisdom Wednesday 2.0, here are seven things you should never apologize for.

• Failing. It is not a permanent experience.
• Following your dreams even if others don’t believe in it or they sound silly.
• Putting yourself first. Your self-worth impacts your relationships, emotional and mental health.
• Wanting more. Why should you settle?
• Trusting your instincts. If you have to rely on others for your answers, you are living wrong.
• Making mistakes. No one’s got it all figured out — and I still don’t.
• Loving someone. Especially if you’ve been made to feel bad about it.

What are some things you won’t ever feel sorry about or apologize for? Share in the comments below and give the song a listen while you’re at it!

Finding Gratitude in the Past

The holiday season is officially here and I can happily say, it really is the most wonderful time of year. Between the gorgeous foliage, cool breezes, hot drinks and sweet familial vibes associated with this season, there is so much to love about these last few months of the year and as one of my best friends recommended, now is a better time than any to “bare your heart to those you love as much as you want,” so here goes!

Amid all the hardships and heartbreak life tosses all of us, these short months leading into the new year have always brought, by the Grace of God, blessings to my amazing family, my dearest and closest friends, and myself. I’m not saying life has been easy — no way. It’s the same amount of struggle it always has been, but it has been eye-opening on so many levels on a personal aspect, especially when it comes to upholding my own self-worth and never settling just because it’s “convenient” or the emotional payoff lends itself to a life of comfort and makes one look “put together” to relatives or friends. The events that have led me to this moment are something I’m so grateful for and will forever reflect on as the years pass. I know there are critics who shame others for looking back and a bajillion articles that state “10 Reasons You Need to Stop Thinking About Yesterday,” but through valued discussions with friends, family and even some of my professors, I truly believe that is now an archaic, almost upstart way of thinking. Looking back at your past with gratitude is a lot more about honoring yourself, maturing in your skin and self-worth, and tracking all the progress you’ve made in loving yourself.

As a writer and someone who grew up with a diary, you are right to believe I find real value in reflecting on just about everything that has happened in my life, especially as I get a week off to celebrate this second Thanksgiving with family and friends (Oh, Canada!). Credit it to my upbringing by my amazing parents, but I have always been that person who has truly valued every single instant of my life, even the heartbreaking moments. You really have to be grateful for everything you have, you’ve been through and what you can achieve by looking back and reminding yourself of how far you’ve come.

‘One Is Not Born a Woman, But Becomes One…’

“There is no limit to what we, as women, can accomplish.” — Michelle Obama

Happy International Women’s Day to all the fearless, kindhearted young girls and women who work hard to empower others and inspire change! No matter who you are, where you are in life or who you are with, never forget how strong, capable, beautiful and important you are. You deserve better and you definitely deserve to know you are worth more than what you believe.

Acclaimed French writer and novelist, Simone de Beauvoir’s words are inspiring as she shares, “One is not born a woman, but becomes one.” It is hard to be a grown-up, but it is even harder to be a women in today’s world. Left, right and center, women are taken advantage of by those in power, hurt by those who choose to lie, and left behind due to a society’s insecurity. de Bouvier made note that while we are not born anything in this life, we only come into our own when we meet with circumstances that arm us through stronger knowledge of the world around us and the relationships we form. Everything we are at this moment is the upshot of the choices we make, whether good or bad. We don’t just create our own values and morals based on what we feel empowers us — we create our identities and who we are at this very instant in existence.

I have known women who have been cheated on, I have seen women who have been disrespected in the workplace, and I have seen women struggle to get where they want to be. But what is holding you back? If things are horrible and circumstances point to desolation, heartbreak and a continuous stream of failure, what makes you think you deserve the life you are leading right now? You are your own person and no one can take that away from you. Be bold for change and know you are worth more than you give yourself credit for.

While women should be celebrated every day and honored with respect by each and every one of us, today is the one day we take out as a familial unit in the world to celebrate women and the amazing progress, change and impact we have each made in this world. When speaking from the heart, I can say I’ve been blessed in my life with an abundance of inspiring female role models, from my two grandmothers, my mother and sister, to my amazing friends and remarkable team of Womanistas.

Some are mistaken and think today is just for women, but it’s quite the contrary. Though we honor women, the bright, intellectual male is also one who understands that an equal society benefits both men and women, and that toxic ideas of masculinity and sexism hurt all of us. I have seen a positive attitude of feminism from my father every day who raises my sister and I to be strong-willed and defiant in the face of adversity, and in past instances with my best friend, who held his mother, sister and grandmother to great reverence. The support from these two intellectual men alone and how they honor the women in their life with such love, respect and trust raises hope that as a society, we can and will do better when it comes to gender disparity. 

As a society when we work together, we enhance each other and open up dialogue for positive attitudes and increased action. So here’s to the strong women: may we know them, may we be them, and may we raise them. Amen. 

“Awoman with a voice is by definition a strong woman.” — Melinda Gates

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Top: H&M
Jacket: “Neelam Jacket” by Wilfred Free from Aritiza
Jewelry: Dogeared
Lipstick: Bobbi Brown, Luxe Lip Color in “Red Berry”

Letter from the Editor: What a Broken Heart Can Teach You

Something I have heard from many in the last month is how heartbroken they have been feeling since last fall. As a feeling I too have experienced while watching the world change every second, it’s no secret that a broken heart can take a toll on the best of us.

And there is nothing more painful than that. Heartbreak takes each of us on a seemingly endless rollercoaster ride, while pulling at the frayed fringe of our very being that leave us weakened and hurt. Yet, as the late Leonard Cohen sings in his popular song, “Anthem,” there is a crack in everything and “that’s how the light gets in.”

It might sound preposterous, but a broken heart has the power to not only motivate and improve our lives for a healthier well-being, but also unleash a great creativity you have never imagined.

If you watched the Golden Globes this month, you might have seen Meryl Streep sharing wise words from the late Carrie Fisher that urged all those with broken hearts to rise up and “take your broken heart, make it into art.”

The Hudsucker was one such venture. While the idea manifested through faith thanks to our Senior Managing Editor, Katherine, the very foundations and motivations of this online magazine were built upon a broken heart.

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How to Be Your Own Best Friend for a Healthier Lifestyle

There’s no denying that while we might be surrounded by amazing relationships in our waking life, we have spent every moment from birth to now in our very own company. And the truth is, no matter who pops in and out of our life, we will always be the one soul consistently there for us.

It might sound like a lonely thing to say, but we never escape our own presence and in that understanding, we have the ability to be our own best friend, without fear and without judgement. After all, if we allow ourselves to be our own best friends, chances are we will never really be alone.

So often we disappear into those we love or the life we make, that we end up neglecting not just our family or friends, but ourselves. Whether you’re 34 or 64, how many friends you have and at what stage in life you’re at, it’s essential to recognize that you are capable of everything you imagine for the others you love in your own life.

In order to feel at peace and realize we are worthy of self-love, we need to build a solid friendship with our very being at the core. It might take some work and patience but with a careful mindfulness, you can surely get there.

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A Reminder

Just going to keep this here as a reminder that waiting can be a blessing in hindsight. Whether it’s waiting for a heart to heal, a love to mend, a path to look clearer, a purpose to be understood—waiting often feels like torture and seems impossible to endure because we want things to happen on our own schedule. We have become such self-serving individuals that we don’t realize life doesn’t happen on our terms. God doesn’t operate on our schedules and expecting He will just hinders our faith in Him, ourselves and the circumstances that make up this world we create.

If Psalm 18:30 says God’s ways are “perfect,” then it’s essential to trust whatever happens because His timing is faultless. A lot of bad things happen and a lot of bad people get away with hurting others, but waiting can bring its own set of benefits for the pain caused or for the ones who have inflicted the pain. I know this because I have waited for a lot of things in life. And while God has blessed and showered me with good things, it’s hard some days to wonder about that little organ that is the heart and the engine running that is the brain. Will the heart ever heal itself? Will we ever be OK with it having been broken over and over by someone or something we love (or loved)? Could we ever just stop thinking of all the hurt that we feel deep down inside? I don’t know.

But I do know that time goes by quickly (or at least it did this year) and when we surround ourselves with love, positivity and good people, good work, it’s a sign of better things on the horizon. Our choices are our own and whatever we decide to make in order to aid our own emotional and mental well-being, God is there every step of the way reassuring us through signs and karma that all that waiting will one day mean something we never could have possibly imagined.

{Originally posted on Instagram / photo from Pinterest}

Wisdom Wednesday: “Still I Rise”

“You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise…”

– Maya Angelou, “Still I Rise“

Photo credit: Bossfight

Celebrating Our 4th Anniversary at The Hudsucker!

Happy birthday to The Hudsucker! I can’t believe it’s been four years already. Kind of lost for words, really—so bear with me. It’s been an amazing journey so far and I’m so proud of our team (and my friends) for believing in this vision. Who would have thought this intrepid venture stemmed from a broken heart, right? That’s always something I can’t believe because it brought such happiness to everyone around me while I was working through the motions of a broken heart. I think that’s the way to channel your pain in the best way possible—by working through something you love doing and turning it into something good for everyone else too. It’s funny because months ago, I was told by a halfwit bungle to stop writing about our mutual love on my own blog here, but the truth of the matter is, as blind and naive as she’s always been, The Hudsucker was because of him. And I will always love him and think of him no matter what.

It feels like just yesterday that one of my best friends, Katherine and I were texting about this “idea” swimming in my head. (Thank you and I will never forget the that moment!) We get to do really cool, fulfilling stuff every day, interview amazing people and it’s because of writers who are so passionate about writing, sharing information and of course, readers like you. If I can borrow my own words from a past post, “With all the success our little digital magazine has met since 2012, I’ve met with some comments by friends and acquaintances that we’re really “lucky.” However, I don’t believe luck alone has helped us in this journey. Luck has merely climbed aboard and shown us more success, but luck alone? Nah. From everything I have seen with this team, hard work is the driving force to every ounce of success we’ve met with. The thing about life is, if you know exactly what you want out of it, you need to be fully determined and relentless in your pursuit. Working hard for what you want is paramount and I promise you, it will drive you to where you need to be and where you should be.”

Thank you to our team! Thank you to our readers! Thank you to everyone who supports us and continues to! Thank you to the agencies we work with! We are all truly blessed. Thank you, thank you!

If you like what you read here at my blog, I promise you will enjoy The Hudsucker, so check us out!

The Hudsucker | Celebrating Our 4th Anniversary

Time really does fly when you’re having fun! As we celebrate another milestone and turn four years old today, have you ever wondered who the faces are behind The Hudsucker? With a diverse team from all over North America, get to know who we are by reading questionnaires filled out by each of our writers. You never know what you might just find out!

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