love

5 Reasons People Stay in Bad Relationships, According to Science

We’ve all seen the situation and it baffles you to the core: a spouse cheats on their partner, yet they remain the happy quintessential couple on your sunny neighborhood block. All looks normal on their relationship horizon, but a month or two later pass, and you hear they are heading on vacation, moving to a new home, or what is subjectively worse — have a baby with the intent to “save” their marriage.

Yikes. What could possibly pressure someone to want to stay in a relationship so deceitful after years of emotional abuse and distrust? Well, for one, you should know that it isn’t easy. While many reach a point of no return and cut ties, that’s not the case for everyone — and if you must know, weakness or strength does not come into play. It should be noted with great veneration that all relationships are hard and none are textbook.

While divorce can empower spouses to create opportunities for your family to do the right thing, staying in a bad marriage is a real adversity that harms mental and emotional health. Though staying in a relationship can be seen as puzzling, psychologists prove that there is real, scientific motive couples stay in bad relationships.

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5 Romantic Spring Date Ideas Guaranteed to Blossom Your Relationship

After being curled up on the couch for months with Netflix and cozy blankets, we are happy to announce that spring has almost sprung. And with a new season of color and life comes ample opportunity to crawl out of our place of hibernation and soak in the beauty of a fresh new season.

Aside from shedding our sweaters, boots and scarves, the weather beckons for us to really start living again—and with that renewal of life comes time for couples to revel in warm weather. After all, flowers aren’t the only things that blossom!

Whether you two have weathered through the seasons together or are celebrating April showers and May flowers for the first time, these date ideas will add a much needed spring in your romantic step.

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5 TED Talks That Will Completely Refresh Your Outlook on Love

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With the way life has been around the world lately, it wouldn’t hurt for us to add more love to the mix. From war, poverty, famine and the fight for human rights, the Burt Bacharach classic, “What The World Needs Now is Love” has never been more certifiable.

Considered one of the most essential components to our life, love is the basis of all things good and beautiful in our world, and true love is a real motivator for purpose and perspective.

While February is known famously as the month that celebrates love in all its manifestations, it’s also just the second month of the new year, which means if you feel a bit polarized in your goals and love life, it’s time to really pick yourself up. We all love indulging in our plans of Netflix and ice cream, but it’s important to recognize that in all its various forms, love is a central part of the human experience and deserves more attention.

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“One Is Not Born a Woman, But Becomes One…”

“There is no limit to what we, as women, can accomplish.” — Michelle Obama

Happy International Women’s Day to all the fearless, kindhearted young girls and women who work hard to empower others and inspire change! No matter who you are, where you are in life or who you are with, never forget how strong, capable, beautiful and important you are. You deserve better and you definitely deserve to know you are worth more than what you believe.

Acclaimed French writer and novelist, Simone de Beauvoir’s words are inspiring as she shares, “One is not born a woman, but becomes one.” It is hard to be a grown-up, but it is even harder to be a women in today’s world. Left, right and center, women are taken advantage of by those in power, hurt by those who choose to lie, and left behind due to a society’s insecurity. de Bouvier made note that while we are not born anything in this life, we only come into our own when we meet with circumstances that arm us through stronger knowledge of the world around us and the relationships we form. Everything we are at this moment is the upshot of the choices we make, whether good or bad. We don’t just create our own values and morals based on what we feel empowers us — we create our identities and who we are at this very instant in existence.

I have known women who have been cheated on, I have seen women who have been disrespected in the workplace, and I have seen women struggle to get where they want to be. But what is holding you back? If things are horrible and circumstances point to desolation, heartbreak and a continuous stream of failure, what makes you think you deserve the life you are leading right now? You are your own person and no one can take that away from you. Be bold for change and know you are worth more than you give yourself credit for.

While women should be celebrated every day and honored with respect by each and every one of us, today is the one day we take out as a familial unit in the world to celebrate women and the amazing progress, change and impact we have each made in this world. When speaking from the heart, I can say I’ve been blessed in my life with an abundance of inspiring female role models, from my two grandmothers, my mother and sister, to my amazing friends and remarkable team of Womanistas.

Some are mistaken and think today is just for women, but it’s quite the contrary. Though we honor women, the bright, intellectual male is also one who understands that an equal society benefits both men and women, and that toxic ideas of masculinity and sexism hurt all of us. I have seen a positive attitude of feminism from my father every day who raises my sister and I to be strong-willed and defiant in the face of adversity, and in past instances with my best friend, who held his mother, sister and grandmother to great reverence. The support from these two intellectual men alone and how they honor the women in their life with such love, respect and trust raises hope that as a society, we can and will do better when it comes to gender disparity. 

As a society when we work together, we enhance each other and open up dialogue for positive attitudes and increased action. So here’s to the strong women: may we know them, may we be them, and may we raise them. Amen. 

“A woman with a voice is by definition a strong woman.” — Melinda Gates

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Top: H&M
Jacket: “Neelam Jacket” by Wilfred Free from Aritiza
Jewelry: Dogeared
Lipstick: Bobbi Brown, Luxe Lip Color in “Red Berry”

8 Undeniable Red Flags of Incompatibility in a Relationship

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When we seek out partners, we’re looking for someone who will be our true soul mate, our best friend — the who understands us to the core without us even uttering a word. But love and even marriage is not enough to guarantee that a relationship stands the test of time. Couples can be together for a decade, love each other very much, move to a new town, have a child, yet still not be right for one another.

Sure, relationships aren’t perfect and most will often meet with some challenge or the other, but can you really be happy if you ignore the red flags just to ensure history is left untouched?

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Letter from the Editor: What a Broken Heart Can Teach You

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Something I have heard from many in the last month is how heartbroken they have been feeling since last fall. As a feeling I too have experienced while watching the world change every second, it’s no secret that a broken heart can take a toll on the best of us.

And there is nothing more painful than that. Heartbreak takes each of us on a seemingly endless rollercoaster ride, while pulling at the frayed fringe of our very being that leave us weakened and hurt. Yet, as the late Leonard Cohen sings in his popular song, “Anthem,” there is a crack in everything and “that’s how the light gets in.”

It might sound preposterous, but a broken heart has the power to not only motivate and improve our lives for a healthier well-being, but also unleash a great creativity you have never imagined.

If you watched the Golden Globes this month, you might have seen Meryl Streep sharing wise words from the late Carrie Fisher that urged all those with broken hearts to rise up and “take your broken heart, make it into art.”

The Hudsucker was one such venture. While the idea manifested through faith thanks to our Senior Managing Editor, Katherine, the very foundations and motivations of this online magazine were built upon a broken heart.

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6 Telltale Signs You’re Definitely Not Over Your Ex

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We’ve all been there — eating pints of ice cream, belting out Kelly Clarkson’s “Stronger” while in our Snuggie and looking through old photos of happier times. There is no denying that getting over someone who made your life awesome and full of dancing butterflies proves to be one of life’s greatest challenges. But in the aftermath of a breakup, trying to let go of that significant chunk of your life with someone isn’t easy as we’re stuck constantly thinking of them.

According to researchers at Stony Brook University, your inability to let go can be blamed on our “nucleus accumbens” — the brain area associated with reward, which studies suggest fosters the ex-addiction. This simply means since romantic love is a specific form of addiction, when in love and broken up, those emotions can feel similar to withdrawing from a severe addiction.

You might be convinced you’ve gotten over it, but that’s the thing. Getting over someone who has meant so much to you can take a lot longer than anticipated and without a doubt, be one hell of a bumpy ride. So how can you tell if you’ve really stuck a fork in it or are still stuck in your last relationship? To help you make sense of it all, we explore a few signs you are still not over that ex of yours.

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Womanista: December 2016

womanista-logo01December was a crazy month, right? Well, actually all of 2016 was. But there were some really great things that came out of it and that’s the part we should focus on going ahead in this new year. We make our own path, so think positive and always be optimistic. I hope everyone had a relaxing Christmas and New Year’s holiday with their families.

If you didn’t notice already, Womanista has been undergoing some changes as we integrate our newest partner, Skinny Mom to the Womanista family and have now expanded with an entire wellness section. Be sure to check it out at Womanista.com. As it might be known too, I’ve been dabbling with content at the news desk, so be sure to check out that content here!

In the meantime, catch up on all the latest with seasonal content to childproofing how-to’s for your home, to how to balance chores with your partner and the biggest money mistakes you didn’t realize you’re making. Moreover, check out effective and smart ways to not only keep your new year’s resolutions, but also improve your (already) healthy (and sans free of infidelity) relationship. As it goes, here is a complete list of my contributions to the women’s lifestyle website for the month of December! Cheers.

Dec. 30, 2016: Childproofing How-To: Concentrate on 6 Areas of Your Home to Create a Safe Haven | While every parent hopes to keep their child safe, the biggest threat they meet with on a daily basis is lurking in their own homes. That totally includes the medicine cabinet, just about… {CONTINUE READING…}

Dec. 27, 2016: 6 of the Biggest Money Mistakes You Didn’t Realize You’re Making | Establishing a healthy relationship with our money is an essential part of having a happy financial future. What you do today can have a large effect on that future. {CONTINUE READING…}

Dec. 26, 2016: Use These Simple Steps to Effectively Balance Household Chores with Your Significant Other | Having a neat and tidy home is a dream come true for so many, but it’s a concept much easier said than done. Between taking out the trash, doing the laundry, and dusting every nook and cranny… {CONTINUE READING…}

Dec. 25, 2016: 10 of the Most Beautiful Christmas Trees in the US | Whether you’re looking for the best holiday town or just some creative inspiration this twinkling season, cities across the United States are lighting up with beautiful displays of Christmas trees to best showcase the yuletide spirit. {CONTINUE READING…}

Dec. 23, 2016: 8 Ways to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions | Brace yourself, Womanistas! New Year’s is fast approaching and with it comes that annual rhythm of resolutions we hope to maintain to ensure our next 12 months are better, healthier and less stressful. Oh, the possibilities! {CONTINUE READING…}

Dec. 19, 2016: 6 Exciting Jobs to Inspire Your Wanderlust | As far as the eye can see and well beyond the dusk, it’s evident we are true lovers of travel. From meeting people to indulging in the local fare and culture, we are nomads at heart, always seeking new experiences to quench our wanderlust. {CONTINUE READING…}

Dec. 18, 2016: How to Snap the Perfect Christmas Day Family Photo | The festive season is upon us, abounding with merry traditions and cheer! But between that holiday hustle of shopping and party planning, it can become a frenzied feat keeping up with our favorite traditions. {CONTINUE READING…}

Dec. 14, 2016:  20 Easy, Mouthwatering No-Bake Treats for Santa | Christmas is right around the corner and it’s pretty clear that our yuletide-inspired spirits are reaching new heights this season. Between all that shopping, festive home décor, and music that just speaks so deep to our soul, we are on a roll for a smooth and peaceful holiday. {CONTINUE READING…}

Dec. 12, 2016: Clever Ways to Make Potty Training More Fun for the Reluctant Toddler | Toilet training is not just a cause for celebration — it’s a major milestone in your toddler’s life. They’re finally getting out of those saggy diapers and… {CONTINUE READING…}

Dec. 11, 2016: Glam up the Season With These Beautiful Makeup Tutorials | Between all the decorating, holiday shopping and festive photoshoots, we might find ourselves a little short on time this season for that glamorous makeover at the salon or department store. {CONTINUE READING…}

Dec. 7, 2016: 7 Things Couples Should Do Together for a Healthy Relationship | Between boredom, cheating, loss of friendship, doubt and just sheer unhappiness, keeping that spark alive can be difficult when a relationship free of foibles goes awry. {CONTINUE READING…}

Dec. 4, 2016: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas With a Playlist of Holiday Songs to Last the Entire Season | Break out the hot chocolate and gingerbread cookies as you cozy up by the fireplace, because it’s the most wonderful time of the year. {CONTINUE READING…}